I DON’T REMEMBER
I don’t remember
that I undressed in daylight
for a man
whose eyes are closed.
I don’t remember
that I ran like saliva
and he was an unattainable desire,
that I was ravenous with hunger
and he was an impossible bed,
that I was the conqueror
and he a resilient city.
I don’t remember, don’t remember
that I conquered a man like a storm
and he was the open windows that faced my weakness,
that I pounced on him like a fever
and his hallucinations swallowed my tongue.
I knew men’s bodies as travel
and my body as arrival and easy farewell.
I knew that men’s hearts are pairs of hands,
and knew my heart was a promise of asphyxiation
that remains false even when it wins.
I knew that men’s arrival was a gentle flood
and their departure a temporary ruin.
I knew how to forget them even as they stormed the dust of memory.
I had never known a man
whose heart professed rupture like a foretold catastrophe.
I never knew a man
who could turn me
from an Eve into woman.
(translated by Khaled Mattawa)
DON’T LET IT LINGER
I will be strewn on your bed
like fingerprints of fire.
I will be implanted in your night
and my day will spill out from your jar.
I will know your rooms by heart, word for word,
your verses line by line.
I will run and run in front of you
I will run and run in front of you
and I will catch the wind’s hand and pull it along.
My mouth will slide from your forehead to your neck
from your neck to that most significant crux.
I will unload my dreams on your shoulders
and you will let me wander.
Come along.
The earth is collapsing on me,
but I will not flee into myself.
Lust wants to taste me,
but I will not guide it to my home.
My dress is devouring me.
I will not expel it alone.
Come along.
You barge into my head
and I veil myself with fantasy and chase you.
Come, I won’t call out to you again.
Come, cling to me
and don’t waste my dizzy madness.
Beware not to let my fragrance linger.
Don’t let it remain behind
once I am gone!
(translated by Khaled Mattawa)